Vindy and Branam had a beautiful ceremony. They seem very much in love, and I am genuinely happy for them. Pip was able to come, and she was beautiful as well. As always. The Dominion's anniversary party was a wonderful event as well, despite my mate being unable to attend.
Perhaps it was the mood of the hours beforehand that led to my behavior later in the evening. Maybe it was dealing with my mate's recent extended absences. It could have been because she just looked so damn good last night. All of these reasons perhaps? Whatever it was, I was not in the best of moods once I discovered that she wasn't at home when I arrived after the evening was done. Once again, there was business she needed to attend to. Something inside me went off, and I felt this overwhelming urge to get out and let off some steam. For some reason, there was only one place I could think of that would do for what I had in mind, so I put on my "ass kicking" clothes and went to Silvermoon City.
I've been back to the city before, but never to any of my old haunts. Surprisingly, there were actually some folks around who still remembered me. It wasn't long before I was right back in the middle of what I had left behind so long ago and slipping right back into the being the person I used to be. Buying rounds for the entire bar will earn you lots of "friends", and throwing that kind of money around will grab the attention of the whores rather quickly as well.
I can't even recall her name now. She was one of those sweet little things that always seems to be around where alcohol is poured and there's gold to be made. Blood elves aren't my favorites, but I don't have the aversion to them that Pip does. Her moves as she danced on top of the bar let me know that she was far from inexperienced at the game we began to play. Our conversation soon turned to all the ways she could fulfill my every desire. The necessary gold was exchanged, and I was set to spend the rest of my night using her until she broke.
That's as far as it went. I couldn't bring myself to do anything more than help her down off the bar. Suddenly, all I could think of was the hurt it would bring to the woman I love if she were to find out. I made some sort of excuse about duty calling me elsewhere and quickly left. I headed back to Orgrimmar and finsihed drinking myself into oblivion. I seem to vaguely remember Sed showing up, but I can't be sure.
I feel like such a childish and spoiled little bitch. What was I thinking? On the same night that we watched Vindy and Branam swear their love and loyalty to each other, I almost betrayed the one I love. When Pip commits herself to something, her loyalty and sense of duty are unquestionable. Why should I think that her promises to me are any different? Because sometimes she is forced to deal with something at a time that is inconvenient for me? When all is said and done, she returns to me. Always. It is my own stupidity, selfishness, and insecurity that led to the events of last night. I will not allow these things to hold sway over me again. I will strive to be more patient and understanding and never again will I doubt my being first and foremost in my mate's life. I know she is in mine.
