I find myself being submissive to Pip in most situations, both public and private. Whether it's choosing where we have a meal, during our mating time, or even recently with this move to Winterspring, I usually yield to her wants and desires. I reasoned it out in my head once that it was because I was alone and had to shoulder all of life's responsibilities on my own for so long, that is was nice to just be able to give myself to someone and let them make the decisions. I've told myself that it doesn't matter what we do or what I want as long as I'm with her.
Have I gone too far with this? Have I given up being Urukha for the comfort of being Pipiltin Sharptusk's mate? Am I so insecure about our love that I feel the need to placate her in all things? Am I willing to accept every decision she makes and to not take my own feelings into consideration even when in my head I'm screaming "No! I don't want this!"?
Two weeks before our lifemating is a hell of a time to be thinking like this.
